As swiftly as the wheels began to turn, they began to fall off. I looked around at what I had built so far, with Sunrise Horse Training and Dark Horse Healing, both two years in the making, intentionally opposite ends of the spectrum- I’d felt called at the time of creation to cater to separate, vastly different demographics.
Now all I felt was stuck.
I simmered on my new dilemma for several weeks. I decided to bring Sunrise under the umbrella of Dark Horse. I scheduled a meeting with one of my dear mentors, Melisa Pearce (founder of Touched by a Horse, creator of the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method) to discuss going forward in this way, but before the meeting even occurred I saw the blockade in my way. The style of these two worlds, the horse world and the alternative “woo-woo” world, would not mesh. Not in the divisive, polarized world in which we currently live. I can and do easily walk the line between the worlds, but not all my clientele would be so inclined. The plan to mesh my businesses was dashed, and to no ones surprise, my conversation with Melisa confirmed what I already knew. There goes that wheel.
My next decision was to shut down Sunrise Horse Training all together and go whole hog into Equine Gestalt Coaching… but my primary income comes from Sunrise and I was feeling stifled inside the box I’d created within Dark Horse Healing. My dark horses, and dark heart, and dark hair, and dark clothes are absolutely authentic to me, but I no longer wanted to live within those walls and parameters all the time. There goes that wheel.
I started to, accidentally on purpose, morph my training business into something else; something less structured, something sweeter and softer and freer than what I had been taught and trained to do, something that was beginning to really feed my soul as I took note of the relationships that were being built between my clients and their horses.
I decided I would shut down Dark Horse Healing all together and go whole hog into Horse Training and this new path I had found. I started down this trail with just two wheels left, and the further I got down it, the louder the call of my two years of extensive, intensive training as an EGC Coach got. That wheel flew off the wagon in flames and rolled far far away, the other, with nothing to hold it up, collapsed pathetically on the ground. So what was I left with?
Once again, the blinding flash of the obvious presented herself to me in the form of a horse.
Several horses. All Mares. Over the past year their divine feminine energy has challenged me, comforted me, nurtured me, frustrated me, broken me down, and then, (with the help of a kind gelding), healed me.
As I look back on the last 14 years of my life, the footsteps that have been by my side, consistent and unwavering, belong to my beloved heart horse, Molly. The biggest lessons I have learned have come from this mare, and the mares I have been lucky enough to encounter these past few years as a professional trainer. I have learned from geldings too, to be sure, but it is the mares who leave the lasting impressions on my heart.
With their quiet grace and gentle hearts, their fiery tempers, their wild souls, their humor, and their demand for respect that must be earned and is not easily given, I found the answers to my questions.
So with no wheels at all, I walk beside my horse and our equine friends, and I offer our gifts to you, as partners on your journey to wholeness and healing.