Who Am I Without Horses?

When Gabe and I set out on this adventure I had set the expectation for myself to figure out who I am without horses as the focal point of my life. If I could have brought my beloveds with me on this expedition I certainly would have, but I don’t think either of them would thank me for it. So after 15 years, I was determined to discover “Who I am” without horses.

Maybe a knitter? A photographer? An Artist? A mountain climber? Maybe I’d write a book or become a travel blogger.

The conclusion I’ve come to over the past two months is, I am not Me, without Them. Instead of thinking about them less, moving away from training and even Equine Gestalt Coaching, I find myself obsessed.
While learning to draw, I attempt horses. While hiking, I look in every direction for a glimpse of a mane, the sound of clip-clops. While I scroll the endless feed, I look at pictures of pretty ponies.

Where can I see horses? What is the Equestrian culture like in these different places? Are there wild horses anywhere? What is my horse doing? What are my client’s & friends horses doing? How are they progressing? How can I continue to advance my knowledge and skill without being around them? Where can I nuzzle a muzzle?!

In an interview with Stacy Westfall, a brilliant horsewoman, someone asked her:
“What would you do if you could no longer work with horses?”
She didn’t understand the question.
In her world, and I now believe in mine, there is no circumstance where horses are not part of the landscape.

I have no access, currently, to the equestrian world, so the solution for me comes as it so often does; I will read about them and I will write about them. I will do this because I must.
I will read and learn because I have a deep desire to affect change in the Equestrian world, by helping make it into a kinder, partnership based, co-active place.

I will write because there are still, still lessons I can learn from my own experiences.
I will remain immersed because this is my passion, my life’s work, to make this world a better, more compassionate, connected, hopeful, joyful world for horses and humans alike.

I hope you don’t mind a little horsey content mixed in with the travel adventures and vegan recipes. I am a woman of varied interests and I’d like to share them with you!