How I Feel Today

I am desperately tired today. My heart is painted over with a thin layer of nostalgia and longing to be elsewhere, though I couldn’t tell you where – I almost feel like I’m longing for the bright lights and festive feeling of Christmas, maybe even for a cabin in the mountains buried in snow.

I feel like strolling through antique shops and kitschy stores with handmade goods. I feel like sleeping for days. Perhaps most notably I feel like eating my weight in tasty homemade food and savory snacks. I feel a strong and steady pull toward cozy things.

I feel like solitude is calling me. I feel like buried secrets are becoming truths I must finally admit to myself and they can only be birthed, spoken aloud, admitted to, in a deep internal aloneness. This is the way of women in winter, the cyclical call toward hibernation and going inward.

I am desperately tired today but life doesn’t stop because I need to rest, so I will plaster a vacant smile on my face and head back into work, where hopefully my customer service platitudes and good wishes will see me through the day.

One thought on “How I Feel Today

  1. Morning Amanda!

    After reading your post thought I would share some thoughts. We all have bad days…with anger, moody, sadness and urges to eat tons of carbs! I also say the winter weather makes it tough to not be depressed with coldness and getting dark so early. For me what helps is mediation, counting my blessings/prayer, and of course exercising 😄🙏🏼 I’m grateful this old body is still able to move and can do Pilates or play Pickleball when I want. Endorphins make a huge impact for my mental status! I also enjoy helping others with understanding wellness and trying to meet their goals. Similar to what you do with your horses. As a teacher we always have to be careful how much we give of ourselves, who refills our cup? I appreciate your honesty lady! Hope this helps and I’m serious about meeting you and Gabe midpoint, choosing a location to hook up and enjoy a good meal 🥰

    Take care, Terrell

    Sent from my iPad



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